I pray each of your Christmases were so blessed. We really had a wonderful time with our families. We traveled a ton but loved seeing our family. That is what the holidays are about right?
I have been such a perplexed mother lately. I was lamenting to my mother this morning, wondering just how and where new parents get the confidence and wisdom as to how to react as our children grow. Yesterday was a particularly difficult day. We had a friend going to take Abby Kate's pictures in her 1 year dress and I awoke confident that I must find her a cute outfit to wear in a few pictures with Bobby and I. I threw her in the car after her 11 bottle (yes she is still taking a bottle...that is another issue entirely) and took off for the children's stores. We went into the 3rd one and AK began chewing on my wallet. I simply took it out of her hands and what transpired was nothing sort of a nightmare Supernanny episode. She threw her head back, starting screaming and kicking. I started at my demon child in horror and a bit of shock. Let me just stop here and say, I had absolutely no idea what to do. I started frantically scanning my knowledge base from my myriad of Child Development classes (my undergrad major) and could not for the life of me come up with the correct consequence. Swatting? firm voice alone? What? So I tried them all. She continued to scream, I made a hasty purchase that is now added to my growing pile of returns and exited the store, profusely apologizing. I put her in her carseat and she arched her back, screaming. At this point, I just felt clueless. I said again, NO Ma'am Abby Kate, we DO NOT act like that..." and she looked at my screaming. So I just let her scream the whole way home. I am just tired thinking about it. What little I do remember from my classes, this is the age she starts testing her boundaries. She hungers for consistency, someone to love her enough to say "NO, that is too far." But for this compulsive people pleaser, I am ashamed to admit that small but often loud voice in my head argued with me saying, "don't go too far...she may not love you, may not like you, may want everyone but you." Gosh this has been the voice of my sin nature for so long. I am praying about this...
So anyway, staying home is so hard. It is tiny issues of control like this ALL DAY LONG. I remind myself to pick my battles, but I also want to raise a responsible, considerate child that does not throw fits of any kind when things just don't go her way. All this to say, please pray for me right now. I am amazed at parents that have gone before me...props to you! I am being summoned so more later but just wanted to throw that out into cyberspace.
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