Man, I have been learning a lot lately. For those of you that are stay at home Mommas, you know how desperate one can become for fellowship. About a month ago, I realized that I had taken a lot on my plate and was doing nothing with excellence. I was not parenting with my heart (as you saw from a previous post), not loving and serving my husband with passion, and definitely not growing. I realized that I desperately missed time with other women...sharing our hearts and learning. I joined a Bible Study that has been incredible. All young women, mostly mothers that stay at home with young children, and ALL authentic. I have been a part of so many Bible Studies where the women were too afraid to bare their hearts...too afraid to let down the facade of perfection. I do not know why in our modern culture that Christian women feel this need to be put together. All it ends up doing is causing the other women that want to be real to keep their mouths shut and begin questioning why their life seems so messy. I hate that. This group is so refreshing...so fun. We are reading a book called The Modern Girls Guide to Bible Study by Jen Hatmaker and I have loved it. She is witty, transparent and real...all things that appeal to my heart and mind. It is a great tool to learn how to study the Bible...something I am ashamed to say, I have never been too good at...I simply have taken what others fed me about Truth and then claimed it as my own. No more...
This past week, I read 1 Corinthians 13, the famous chapter on love. I have read it on my own at least hundreds of times but as always, something new jumped out. Marriage can be so hard. I realize more often that not, I am acting out all the "do nots" from 1 Corinthians 13 rather than all the "love is." But I just felt amazed at the verse, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things....love never fails!" How different than the kind of love the world presents. No wonder our marriages are in trouble. This kind of love bears one anothers faults, harsh words and failures, believes one anothers hearts, in the others gifting, endures through the afflictions of living in a fallen world and NEVER fails. I cannot tell you how many times in my marriage that I felt, this is never going to get better. This sin is going to cling to us until we die and there will never be freedom. I can see easily how so many people say, 'this is too hard. I am ending this....' or say 'I deserve to be happy. I am not living the rest of my life miserable.' And then simply dissolve of their marriage. But I am so thankful that hope endures and God promises to complete us! And I am thankful, above all, that His love for me never fails.
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