I have had so much to think about today. My sweet husband had surgery on Tuesday as I had mentioned and the recovery has been so rough. We truly covet your prayers. In addition to the grief of watching one you love hurt, ironically this girl from a medical family practically overdosed my husband. I have been flitting about, silently patting myself on the back for being such a compassionate, competent nurse and as I handed the hydrocodone to my husband last night, he looked at it and said in a tonsil-less whisper, "is this right? It seems you are giving me more and more." Always one to have a hard time admitting I am wrong, I confidently replied, "of course." He handed me back the half full shot glass (it is actually cute little rooster juice glasses but the size of a shot glass) and said, "well then I don't want this much." It was then I realized that yesterday morning, I had begun measuring his medicine with a medicine cup and had thought the tablespoon was actually a teaspoon. I have been sick over my mistake and though I know guilt is not of the Lord, I have been drowning in it. I asked for the forgiveness of my in-laws, who are here as well to take care of him and they graciously showed me lavish grace. Even my husband, who is hurting so extra badly today because he had 4 times the medicine yesterday to hide the true pain and has had horrible stomach problems all afternoon (thankfully the doc says is from the antibotic and not the pain meds OD but you can never be sure) has forgiven me. But I am just sick over my carelessness, my irresponsibilty. It is so typical of me. I do things so fast and so confidently. My husband, who I affectionately dubbed my turtle, does EVERYTHING slowly, precisely. Whereas it takes me 20 minutes tops to pay our bills and balance our checkbook, it would have taken him 2 hours. So this error is not only careless, but I have been asked repeatly by my husband to slow down and pay better attention. I gambled with his life and PRAISE GOD His hand was protecting his body from me. I am reminded how sweet grace truly is...the unmerited favor shown at the darkest of times. It has reminded me of Jesus...whose live WAS given for me, even when it was MY sin that put Him there.
I also wanted to use this post to honor a life well lived. Isn't sweet, such a measure of God's care for us that He gives us precious friends to walk beside in this life? My family had PRECIOUS friends. I now realize how unusual it is to have other families that feel as close as your blood. That have walked beside you through each stage and have spoken into your life in powerful ways. One such family in our lives is the Wells family. Most of you that know me have heard me speak of them and know how special they are to us. In college, my parents finally moved next door to them and we have gotten to share a cul-de-sac as well as our lives. The mom, Suzi, is a precious Godly woman who comes from an incredible Godly heritage. You know when you meet someone whose life just screams BLESSING? She is one such woman. Not only from her own choices in life but also from her Godly parents whose prayers have followed her throughout life. Our families are close enough that we loved each others extended family as well. Suzi's Mommy, sweet Boettsie went home to be the Lord this morning. When my Mom called to tell me this morning, my heart broke for Suzi's Dad, who loved his wife more than his own life. Theirs was a love affair worth wrtiting about....But also thought of the party going on in Heaven to welcome such a precious child home. I have no doubt she heard the words "well done good and faithful servant" and that her crown was so full of the jewels of her servant's heart that they had to get help as she laid it at the feet of her Jesus. Her needlepointed picture she finished for me sits by my beside, reminding me to "keep my eyes on Jesus" as she so often told us all. But more importantly, her life showed us how. This fallen world is brighter because God shared her with us. She will be so missed....
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