As you read below, this family I asked you to pray for came into my life unexpectedly and grabbed ahold of my heart. I prayed for Lacie as I would someone in my own family. This past weekend, every time my phone buzzed with a text, my heart jumped to my throat. I begged God. Pleaded with Him to allow her to live. I prayed things in my heart, and then the Holy Spirit would intercede, bringing greater wisdom and depth to my prayers than could possibly come from mere me.
Knowing my story, you know God has told me no to impassioned prayers. I wrestled with this more than I realized. And I had realized it. But through praying for a 15 year old fighting for her life, I came to the conclusion that the results did not rest with me. It wasn't how hard I prayed or how much I believed He would answer what I prayed....It was simply believing without a doubt He could do what I ask, but also trusting His will was greater. What significant peace rests in that realization.
I also have been more and more convicted on my choice to stay home. Through this, I watched a Momma sit with her 15 year old daughter with quiet resolve. She KNEW her girl. In a stage where it can be hard to know a girl (teenager). And she knew her to the core. My Mom was the same way. She gave me a wide berth when I was moody, but was always there to gently probe. She was always there to listen and never acted shocked (which she still says is some of the best advice she received). But above all, she was ALWAYS there. Both physically and emotionally. I realized the other day that if you live to be 72 years of age, which seems to me to be an average life span, you are merely spending a quarter of your life at home with your children. Seems small doesn't it?
Now please do not here me casting stones at mothers that choose to work. I know many must. I know others have husbands that do not support them staying home. So please hear me say that.
But I will say, this whole experience meeting Leisa and her family has strengthened my resolve to passionately defend my choice to stay home and to encourage boldly others who are considering it. Living in the world we do, it is amazing that anyone stays home. I found through my exposure to higher education, it is frowned upon to bow out of the vocational game to raise a family....and that is a field that is a champion of our youth. I had to defend my choice to a person of high standing as I was getting my Masters. There is a world screaming at you that your worth comes from your vocation. Your financial status. Your beauty....Staying home usually checks you out of the game for all of those factors.
But just consider, God gave you the greatest gift He entrusts to humans. What greater could you invest your life in? And if a tragic illness or accident suddenly took your child, would you have regrets in the quantity and quality time you spent with them? These are questions even I, who am with my child constantly am asking myself. Is our time quality? Am I seeking to KNOW this child God has perfectly knit together? Am I pointing her to Him with my actions, my words, my treatment of others? Am I fostering a relationship with her that she can rest firmly in her Momma's love while excitedly exploring her world?